gaS does have an S in it.. but…

Gas does have an S in it, but I need to stop treating days like today when I filled the tank as S days on the No S diet…

What I need to really do is pay at the pump so that I’m not tempted by what’s inside of the gas stations… but ol habbits are hard to break.. so today, I had a 44oz mix of diet mt. dew with a splash of tropicana hawaiian punch to flavor it since dew is too bland by itself… then foolishly had a ‘smoke stack’ — which is a beef jerky type of thing with cheese sticks, and crackers and cheese on top…

then still had the wallet at work, so at lunch overate by having 3 cookies in the cafeteria as well as a 32 oz mix of mt. dew and wild cherry diet pepsi…

What I must do… or need to do… not treat the days I need my wallet (and don’t have it mummified where it takes me 5-10 minutes to unwrap it as a means of keeping myself from having too easy of an access to cash/debit card) as S days, and/or only fill up on gas on the weekends on S days so that way I’m not tempted to overdo it like I did today, and have more control. I wanted to do that over the weekend, but Friday, Saturday and Sunday all three, I managed to say I was going to fill up with gas and did not… part of that saying it might have caused subconsious type of rebellion that caused today’s actions?… also, I think the harder workout today with the dumbbells than I’m used to might have caused some pain or sense of deprivation that caused that rebellion to scream and release itself from the subconsious… old habbits are hard to break, and new ones are hard to establish, but working through it like I’m doing here in this post is one small way I can accomplish just that… now it’s acknowledged, time to move on, and not harp about it anymore, which just causes more negativity snowballs that cause pain and misery. Time to smile in a mirror and move on happily, brush off the dust from this slam on the ground, get up, and move on with even more determination than I had before! 🙂

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